Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Sometimes the clothes do not make the man...

You know I mean business when I quote George Michael.

I spent about a year and a half working at a company that was creative in nature. We produced magazines, online segments, crafts, recipes, all that good stuff. One of the best things about working in that environment was the almost complete lack of dress code. Oh there WAS a dress code, but it was incredibly relaxed, and most people didn't follow it anyway.

A large office full of creative types employs a wide variety of personalities. Most people drawn to work in that kind of environment take a distinct interest in cultivating a sense of personal style and expression. On any given day, I might see people wearing the following:
  • suits and ties
  • wrap dresses
  • jeans, t-shirts and sneakers
  • skinny jeans in every color
  • cargo shorts
  • high fashion leather leggings
  • 5 inch Prada platforms
  • and one woman who sometimes dressed like Big Bird.
It was awesome. I was able, once I became comfortable with the idea of going to work in WHATEVER, to start putting together outfits that I actually LIKED (most of the time I take a look in the mirror and think "well, this isn't a crime.")!

Then I left that job, and took a temp job in East Midtown.

Business casual.

Business casual is BULLSHIT, people.

Let's face it, the reason "corporate dress" is a thing is because it is meant to project an image of professionalism (well, all clothes are meant to project an image of SOMETHING). We think that by wearing a suit and tie (or a pant suit with a silk blouse), potential clients will trust us with their money, and give us more.

What if we all, as a society, decided that a suit does not automatically equal "worthy." I mean, you can point out countless examples of how wealthy, well-dressed businessmen and women have fucked up and screwed a lot of people out of money, sometimes intentionally. If we put out a country-wide announcement that said "Hey! From here on in, just wear what makes you feel good," then maybe we could all just look past the outer and get on with it.

Who am I kidding? We'd all just end up judging each other on the casual stuff anyway.

But can we at least get rid of the edict that JEANS are the devil, and that no one could possibly be professional while wearing them? An office of 5 total people, who receive essentially NO clients in that office, should just be able to say FUCK IT and wear whatever they feel best in. The fact that everyone in this office (of 5 damn people) still wears dress pants, dress shirts, ties and oxfords (or in my case, slacks and a non-tee) day-in and day-out is just DUMB.

Of the many things I am looking forward to this coming year, ditching business casual and embracing Adrienne Casual is close to the top of the list.

Mandatory slacks are lame. And do not help me do my job, in any way. I would be just as effective in my jeans and a casual top.


Wednesday, September 18, 2013


I've given my notice at my current job, and I have 8 work days until I'm outta here. I'm SO excited about the possibility of filling my days with activities that give my life meaning and joy, AND to make money doing those things.

I've also recently returned from performing with my church's vocal ensemble, Spiritus, at World Day of Prayer in Kansas City, MO. It was an honor to be invited to join the group for this momentus occasion, and to perform for a worldwide audience as the events were livestreamed. We sang something like 15 songs, crammed like mad for a month or so ahead of time, and I had such an amazing time getting to know the rest of the group. We had such a fabulous time, and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude to have been a part of it.

In the wake of this trip, I've been invited to be a swing (or, as we lovingly define it, a "Bitch On Call) for the group on a regular basis. This is just further evidence that I'm on the right path, and I can't wait to see what new blessings are headed my way.

Bring it on!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013


Had an audition this weekend for a dance piece. I used to dance competitively when I was younger, but I haven't really done a lot of dancing since I got out of school a few years ago. It felt pretty cool to be in a room full of dancers again, even if I'm only considered a "mover" at this point.

The style was very contemporary and modern, and while it took me a few tries to get it all down, I was proud of myself at the end of it.

I did not get a call back, but the team was super nice and friendly throughout the whole morning, and I had a great time.

I think I should try to attend more dance calls, if only to build up my ability to retain choreography that's taught very quickly. That's an important skill to have as a performer, and practice is always good.

Damn, it feels good to be getting out there again!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Hey all-

Just a quick plug: I recently completed Erin Stutland's Magical Manifesters course, and it is playing a LARGE role in the planning and execution of The Purpose Project. It's helped me identify what I want to accomplish, what's most important to me, and how best to make those things reality. A new round of the course is about to begin, so I wanted to let my readers know. If you'd like to check the program out, please click here. Thanks!

Monday, August 26, 2013


In New York City, there are a lot of opportunities for performers. If you are desperate to perform, and you audition enough, it's pretty much guaranteed you'll be cast in SOMETHING. Whether that production is going to actually advance your career is another thing. The quality of any given show or group is not always evident when reading a posting, and sometimes, you'll show up for something that is a little sketchy. The first step to judging whether an opportunity is up to your standards is to set some.

I don't have an abundance of credits to my name at this point in my career, as I decided to devote most of my energy to bringing in steady paychecks instead of auditioning. However, the credits I did acquire have all served as valuable teaching experiences.

At this point in my life, I'm interested in becoming a working actor, and making my living as a performer. I'm less interested in unpaid work (although I understand the necessity of taking some, especially when trying to build my resume), and I've decided that there is a certain level of quality to a production or a company that I'm aspiring to. To entertain the possibility of taking a job that doesn't live up to my own comfort level gives me the heebie jeebies. Makes me feel kinda dirty. I'm trying to get my name in lights eventually, not my headshot stapled to a cork board outside a rundown black box studio.

I have to believe that if I hold myself steadfastly to the standards that I have come to expect, that the universe will eventually deliver. And if I don't accept a job that makes me feel like I'm slumming it, then there is almost no chance that I'll be ashamed of any job I take.

Basically, I have to see myself as "Marriage Material," instead of a "Hooker."

Made that decision this weekend, while sitting in a seedy lounge, waiting for someone to acknowledge me, no monitor in sight, and getting the feeling like this was definitely NOT where I wanted to be hanging out for the next 6 months.

I also came to the conclusion that I need to completely revamp not only my headshots and audition material, but my resume as well. That thing is moldy.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Fear sucks.

So here I am, 8:47am on a Wednesday morning.

At work. Been here for an hour already. People are calling this phone line already, too. It's not even 9am.

This is the last day I have to work this crazy schedule, so for the next 10 hours, I'm going to try to hold onto that fact.

People work too hard. We are told that money and possessions will make us happy, and in order to bring that money in, sometimes we have to devote much more than an 8 hour day to our jobs. Even that simple 8 hour day can make it difficult or impossible to accomplish the daily goals we set for ourselves (gym, enrichment, spending time with family and friends). We feel the pressure from our bosses to keep going, as they feel pressure from theirs, and they feel pressure from the shareholders, blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, the hours are passing us by, and suddenly it's New Year's Eve, and we are forced to ruminate on what we accomplished this year...

The last few years, I've had to admit, I didn't accomplish much of note.

I mean, great things happened to me. TO me. I didn't really have much to do with meeting my future husband, or finding a spiritual home. These were all results of chance encounters, perhaps divine fate. And while I'm endlessly grateful that I was gifted these things, I'm aching to MAKE something happen.

I've been spending the last 7 or so years since I graduated working for paychecks, and I justified that by thinking that financial security was more important to me than the other kids I went to school with. My parents weren't able to fully bankroll my life (although they have helped me immeasurably), so I couldn't be frivolous and audition for everything. I had to work.

And it's not like that wasn't true, and I didn't have a responsibility to take care of myself. I just wish I hadn't been so AFRAID.

All that talk about supporting myself and paychecks was a cover for fear. Fear I wouldn't make it. Fear I would end up failing and having to admit defeat and head back to Arizona. Fear I wasn't cut out to live in New York City.

It's taken 7 years, but I'm finally done letting that fear keep me from true happiness. I'm certainly not done being afraid, but I'm done with allowing that fear to speak for me.

So... here I am at work. It's 9:04am now. The minutes are marching forward, but I'm not scared I'm wasting them. I have a plan.

I have a project.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Third Metric

Scanning my news feed this morning, I was drawn to an article on HuffPost regarding marriage, and some supposed magic decision you can make to change yours. Being engaged, I enjoy reading articles on marriage and relationships (I'm studying up!). Here's the article.

For those who don't feel like reading the whole thing, Meghan Telpner and Josh Gitalis, a married couple from Toronto, live a life that many here in America might find odd. Neither of them work in a corporate environment, and they prioritize their lives around what makes them feel healthy and happy, not necessarily what will make them the most money.

This article was categorized under "The Third Metric." Here's the blurb HuffPost includes on its page:

     "The current, male-dominated model of success -- which equates success with burnout, sleep deprivation, and driving ourselves into the ground -- isn't working for women, and it's not working for men, either. On June 6, Arianna Huffington and Mika Brzezinski hosted a conference called "The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power,” bringing together women -- and a few good men -- to focus on redefining success to include well-being, wisdom, our ability to wonder and our ability to make a difference in the world."

I was instantly struck by how simple, and yet so CRAZY this idea is to our established way of thinking in the West. I know I've been taught and advised to always have a job, and to try to rise up both in rank and in salary as often as possible. I haven't been spectacularly successful in this endeavor, although I've been able to support myself (for the most part) independently for the last 9 years or so. I've jumped from job to job, industry to industry over the last few years, and as I've been examining myself this year, a shocking truth is starting to dawn: Maybe I'm just not cut out for this shit.

"This shit" being Corporate America, and the constant desire for advancement and RESULTS, regardless of what I might actually want to accomplish in my personal life.

Why do we feel the need to follow this pattern? What is it we think we'll gain from this lifestyle? Money, power, respect, love? Why do we automatically reach for our careers as a way to achieve these goals? Can these needs be met another way?

That is what I'm trying to do here. Reach for the good feelings FIRST, instead winding my way through my JOB as a circuitous way to get to Love and Contentment. Concentrating on what will make me feel fulfilled and purposeful, instead of what society might define as Success. Finding security through my own inner satisfaction instead of my bank account.

I'll let you know how it goes. :)